Stop Me If You Heard This One Before

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 * co-written with Dan Rivers * 

What luck I got a letter just when things were lookin’ bleak
I’m inherting a fortune from a Sheikh in Mozambique
Just needs me to pay the tax and fees to his bank in Singapore
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Got a sure thing at the track from my brother in law
Twenty to one on pony from Arkansas
Didn’t go small no I bet it all now I’m standin’ in my shorts
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Keep makin’ the same mistakes
Don’t know why them’s just the brakes
Some kinda’ comic purgatory

Guess I spent my whole life guessin’
Never seem to learn my lesson
Stop me if you’ve heard this story, if you’ve heard this one before

My wife threw me out says I’m a cheating louse
I’m sure I’ll get to keep the car and the house
She’s so sentimental I’m sure she’ll settle it’ll never go to court
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Keep makin’ the same mistakes
Don’t know why them’s just the brakes
Some kinda’ comic purgatory

Guess I spent my whole life guessin’
Never seem to learn my lesson
Stop me if you’ve heard this story, if you’ve heard this one before

Between the Sheikh from Mozambique
And that horse I’m on a winning streak
Wife’s probably gonna’ call to say she’s sorry
Stop be if you’ve heard this one before

 - April 2021 -                                                                                       #451