One Hundred Ninety Nine

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Today I learned the hard way why everybody says
You shouldn’t play with matches when you’re drunk
Until I grow my beard back it’s anybody’s guess
How many lessons may be still to come

Like don’t switch gas and diesel and don’t fill her up with beer
Those two cost me big at twenty five
At the rate I fix mistakes I’m gonna’ need a few more years
Should know it all by a hundred ninety nine

Then I’ll never break a cell phone or stub another toe
Because I been there done that one too many times
Won’t ever lose my temper or the damn TV remote
On the day I turn one hundred ninety nine

Can’t wait to test the lesson I learned last New Years Eve
On a second chance first date next Friday night
This time I’ll stick to coffee so that I don’t lose the keys
And we’ll take a little midnight moonlight drive

Then I won’t text my crazy ex or go knockin’ down her door
Because it just ain’t worth that seventh glass of wine
Gonna’ be the guy who just does it right ‘cuz he’s seen it all before
On the day I turn one hundred ninety nine

Now I don’t need the answers to the mysteries of the world
Like where my missing socks all run and hide
But the daily do’s and don’ts sure do help me to survive
I can’t wait to turn a hundred ninety nine

 - October 2018  -                                                                                                                   #247