Jesus Drove My Ass Down To Nashville

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 * co-written with Andy Doyle *

You’ve heard of Folsom Prison, Alcatraz and Gitmo Bay
But none compare to where I did my time
Along Route 66 somewhere out there in the sticks
Picked the lock and left my cell behind

My thumb hitched me a lift on the Skyway good and swift
But we crashed and burned an hour from Purdue
There were body parts and flames all along the interstate
And the rubbernecking started right on cue

Every cop from miles around spun their wheels into the ground
Like a motorcade of rubber gloves and prayer
My fingers and my toes rolled like pebbles on the road
While the vultures circled closer in the air

Hank Williams’ lonesome ghost grabbed the Scotch I love the most
As my honky tonkin’ heart said adios
Kenny Rogers bet my cash and Willie Nelson smoked my hash
And Jesus drove my ass down to Nashville

When I left those prison walls boy I almost had it all
As the wheels burned rubber south to Mexico
Now I’m cursing my bad luck and that God-forsaken truck
Blown to pieces guess that’s sometimes how it goes

Uncle Sam pawned my guitars and he repossessed my car
The D.E.A. locked up my cigarettes and beer
And a man dressed all in white brought a cooler full of ice
So the science lab could take my eyes and ears

The devil stole my soul and before my skin was even cold
The paparazzi shot my centerfold
Mama put my flask on the grave of Johnny Cash
And Jesus drove my ass down to Nashville

As we saw the city lights and the day turned into night
The lord and savior turned to me and said,
“I had to leave Chicago ‘cause the south is where it’s at.
You’re welcome and I’m sorry about your head!”

 - November 2018 -                                                                                                              #252