I Dare You

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 * co-written with Adam Howard Schneider *

She’s been saying she’s gonna’ leave me for years I dare you
To hit the highway and kidnap all my beers I dare you

I dare you look up from your phone
I dare you to tell me a joke
I dare you to quack like a duck
I dare you to gimme’ a buck

Dog keeps threatenin’ to tinkle on the floor I dare you
Get me down there cleanin’ on all fours I dare you

I dare you to touch your toes
I dare you to strike a pose
I dare you to straight your collar
I dare you to gimme’ a dollar

I dare you to gimme’ five
I dare you to look alive
I dare you to start buying organic ketchup
I dare you to gimme’ a buck

One more sick day and the boss man says I’m through I dare you
Wreck my paycheck and my reputation too I dare you

I dare you to play air guitar
I dare you to eat lunch in the park
I dare you to admit that Rubber Soul is better than Revolver
I dare you to gimme’ a dollar

I.R.S. makin’ noise ‘bout legal action I dare you
Take the house and send my broke ass packin’ I dare you

I dare you to call your mama
I dare you to bring back Obama
I dare you to give yourself a haircut
I dare you to gimme’ a buck

I dare you to write a song
I dare you to sing along
I dare you to get your CDL and learn how to drive a truck
I dare you to gimme’ a buck

I dare you to crack a smile
I dare you to leapfrog that guy
I dare you to check out the complete works of Gustav Mahler
I dare you to gimme’ a dollar

 - March 2022 -                                                                                           #553