Everybody Farts

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 * co-written with Pete & Pat Luboff * 

You can do it in a church or an elevator
You can do it if you’re a cow or an alligator
You can try to hold it back but it will come out later
Everybody farts

You can be the Queen of England or a newborn babe
You can blame it on the dog and say, Me? No way!
But the truth is you’re gonna do it night and day
Everybody farts

Everybody farts everybody farts
Bless our smelly hearts everybody farts
All the way from Fresno to Sleepy Hollow
Farting is such sweet sorrow
Sing it with me now everybody farts

Who smelt it dealt it who thunk it stunk it
Who spoke it broke it who sniffed it biffed it
Whoever’s poking fun is the smoking gun
Everybody farts

Everybody farts everybody farts
Bless our smelly hearts everybody farts
Hold your breath and pull my finger
Wipe away a tear ‘cause the best ones linger
The truth will set you free everybody farts

For some folks in South America it’s how they say hello
In China you can get a job as a fart smelling pro
You even do it for a while after you die that’s how it goes

Everybody farts everybody farts
Bless our smelly hearts everybody farts
Anybody hear that barking spider
I stepped on a duck and he was full of fiber
Quick someone get me a lighter everybody farts

 - December 2020 -                                                                                                                  #425